Article 15: Prohibited Dancing

Article 15: Prohibited Dancing

A bro never dances with his arms above his head.

This is one of those rules that's a "duh" rule. Dudes don't dance with their arms above their head. It just looks awkward and you start to look like a weird cross between a suburban teenage girl and an awkward boy who plays too much Dungeons and Dragons. On top of dancing with your arms above your head, if you start doing a "hips don't lie" style dance and a fellow bro is anywhere in sight, the other bro is obligated to pretend to trick the bad dancer into leaving the dance floor followed by a swift butt-kicking in the back alley. This trickery may be accomplished by any means necessary.

After consulting with my coworkers Heather and Jenna, it seems as though chicks don't really care about guys  dancing with their hands above their head, but I still wouldn't chance it, especially if you are doing the "hips don't lie" version of arms-up dancing. Not to mention the possibility of being beaten up in a back parking lot.

Suggested ways to trick the arms-up dancers:

• Fake chick waiting to go home with him in the back parking lot
• Free beer in the back parking lot
• Pro Athlete was discovered and is signing autographs for free
• You need help dumping your girlfriend
• You "locked your keys in your car", "Are way too wasted", or "Your dog just died" and you need a ride home

Possible Punishments (in addition to being beat up) :

• Label the bro "Princess", "Shakira", or "Belly Dancer" for the rest of his life
• Designated  him as kamikaze wingman for the next three bro-outs
• Make him designated driver for the next year
• Get him drunk and dress him up as a princess, take pictures, and post them to social media.