A bro will drop whatever he is doing and rush to help his bro dump a chick. It's normal for a bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a bro most needs his bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time-consuming.
How to dump a chick in 6 words or less:
- "Maybe try a side salad instead."
- "Cute! You're growing a mustache too?!"
- "She looks like a younger you!"
- "I will finance a boob job."
- "Sorry, I threw your shoes out."
- "Your sister let me do that!"
- "Wanna see a magic trick??"
- "Poof, you're single"
- "Your jeans fit lots tighter now!"
Breaking up with a chick, in general, is never easy or fun to do (unless you use the "poof" line). And many times, it's tough to think of what to say all by yourself. That's why us bros need to help each other out and make breaking up as easy and pain-free as possible!
Now, understand this even if a bro says he doesn't want help, you still give him help in some sort of bro-ish way, whether that be through texting/calling/yelling at her at the same time, or reassuring your bro that his soon-to-be ex is a hoe that needs to be dumped and that your bro is way better off without the chick.
Suggested punishments if a bro does not respond to being called in to help:
- Revocation of wingman status
- Loss of vehicle borrowing privileges
- Designated all-time tip leaver
- Bro is required to bring beer to offended bro's house once a week, for the number of weeks equivalent to the number months the offended bro and ex-girlfriend dated for
- Offended bro no longer has to bring beer over
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